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There’s a paradox with self-improvement and it is this: the ultimate goal of all self-improvement is to reach the point where you no longer feel the need to improve yourself.

Think about it: The whole goal of improving your productivity is to reach the point where you never have to think about how to be more productive. The whole point of pursuing happiness is to reach the point where one no longer has to think about being happy. The whole point of improving your relationships is so that you can enjoy some drama-free cunnilingus in the McDonald’s drive-thru without almost crashing the car.

(Still working on that last one.)

Self-improvement is therefore, in a weird way, ultimately self-defeating.

The only way to truly achieve one’s potential, to become fully fulfilled, or to become “self-actualized” (whatever the fuck that means), is to, at some point, stop trying to be all of those things.

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Krystal Martinez

Krystal is a part-time writer for Scary Mommy and has a pulse on all things entertainment, Lifestyle, and Movies/TV. She is a freelance writer for lifestyle brands and is the Founder of her own parenting blog, The Unconventional Mom. Krystal has a bachelor’s degree in Journalism from UMass Lowell and has been a closet novelist since 2013. As a first-time mama, and long-time alchemist, she uses her voice as a catalyst to help parents and families live and sustain a more conscious lifestyle.
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